everyone is single if you try hard enough
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
