this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
