you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
