oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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