Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
