"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
