the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
