No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
