new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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