i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
