you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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