i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
