My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
