Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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