Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
two words: eviction party
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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