So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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