i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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