So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She swung at the pinata with crutches
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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