U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
