i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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