Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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