Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
