How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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