I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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