I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
