That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
