After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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