No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
