It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
