Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
