so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
