Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
