She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
