You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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