I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
