I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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