How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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