no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
