She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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