I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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