Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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