Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
