Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
