He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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