I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
