Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
