I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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