WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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