dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
