Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
