i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You need a sexual gate keeper
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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